I am not ashamed to say that I have been self-conscious of my body pretty much all my life. My mom was a stick figure with that rapidfire metabolism that devoured cheese, burgers, grease and chocolate with an impressive speed and accuracy. As it so happens, she saved all those genes for my sister. Both of them, tall and lean; me, short, with a metabolism I really have to bribe to get going. I used to fight it, but now I am one with it. I have learned how to manipulate it and work with it, and even though it needs constant care and attention, I no longer get angry with it because honestly, I am stuck with it. It’s like an annoying family member, really. You could fight with it, but all that does is make everyone miserable. So you tolerate it and take it for what it’s worth and even laugh at the good and bad times together.
So with my short frame comes short legs. Once chubby, now getting more muscular, two words will always remain in the battle and in my vocabulary and they are: thigh rubbage.
Before I was one with it, I’d run in pants. In Florida. In hundredty-thousand degree with million-percent humidity. I know, right? Finally, I nearly passed out because of the heat and decided I needed to get over my own self and start wearing shorts already.
But shorts always always hike up on me! I can hardly stand running 5 feet and pulling them down in the middle, running 5 feet and pulling them down again. It completely ruins my run. At some point, I get sick of pulling them down and go on strike; simply allowing myself to look ridiculous with them all bunchy in the middle and uncomfortable in the name of just getting the run done already.
Since shorts by themselves didn’t work for me, I turned for the shorts-with-spandex thing. I was never particularly fond of the spandex product, but it was something that seemed like I should try. (Oh yes, this has been a long process.) So I bought shorts. And I bought spandex. And last week, I had thought that I had found something super-duper special. I found shorts with the spandex actually attached to them!!!!!!! Together! To me it was like a union of chocolate and peanut butter! And at the time I wrote my blog post after acquiring them, I was still in the so-excited-I-could-piddle phase and hadn’t actually tried them. Two different pairs of similar shorts and similar concepts later, these didn’t work for me. Sorry girls (and guy.) But I had a terrible terrible run (almost flung myself off the back of the treadmill because I kept pulling them down in the middle) and an awful softball game (I think people saw some stuff they shouldn’t have. They nicknamed me “Shorts” afterward.)
But, alas! I have some good news to report! In my research, I have found something. Indeed! And it works. It truly works!
They are these. Zoot Tri Shorts. Here is my official review (and yes I took forever getting to it but like I said, this has been a process!)
I found these by accident while trying feverishly to find something for my first triathlon. Ever since, I have used them for everything. For spin class, biking, running, and even non-competitive rec-league softball. Any reason in which I must wear shorts and also run and/or be active and for this sole reason: they have a little bit of elastic around the bottoms, where they end at your knees and they do.not.budge. I wear a pair of cheap Russell-brand shorts over them and I am covered for my entire run, whether it’s a couple miles or a couple feet. No bunching, no riding, no nothing. Amazing!!!
Now, a while back I had bought a pair of cycling shorts for my bike. But have you ever seen or experienced that padding? It’s like a Tempur-pedic mattress on your butt. The Zoots have a teeny-tiny little bit of padding, just enough to keep you comfortable on a long ride, but not too much that you can’t function as a human being walking around in the world afterward. So little, in fact, that you can run in them and that little layer of padding is completely unnoticeable. That’s on purpose. You’re supposed to be able to run in them too.
For me, they are a dream. I don’t actually know what I would do without them. (With a matching Zoot top, you can actually swim in them too, they are made to dry quickly. I do not swim in them personally, because I prefer my bathing suit, but you can. Just so you know.)
Other stats:
-They have an 8” inseam. -They are fitted, but breathable.
-They are made of a quick-drying and moisture-wicking material, which means they keep the moisture off your bod.