It’s TMI Monday — er, True Confessions Monday, so here are mine and I’m gettin’ a little deep here, so I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, m’kay???
Here we go.
1. I made an entire meal for watching college football Saturday night using Weight Watchers recipes.
2. I didn’t tell anyone. So, shhhhhh. But I was able to watch the game and eat seriously yummy food with minor tweakage and still count my points. Sweet.
3. With my 64 calorie Beck’s Light.
4. Sigh. I’ve come a long way in my weight-loss, but my demons still haunt me. I wear “fat goggles”. My husband and friends and family say I’ve changed so much and have lost “so much weight”, but I just don’t see it. I swear. No matter what size I am, I see the same person.
5. And ya know? I honestly hate that. I remember being a size 6 forever and ever ago in my early 20’s and I didn’t even enjoy it because I thought I was fat then! So when I was a size 16, I cursed myself for not being happier when I was thinner and promised myself that even if I were in a 12, I’d cherish it! And when I got to 12, I still wasn’t happy. I always see myself in the mirror as the same size, no matter what size I am. What gives?
6. I know it’s supposed to be a compliment when people tell you you’ve lost weight, but I still always feel kind of insulted. Like maybe they were the ones who, at some point, muttered behind my back after I walked away, boy did she really pack it on! And I feel worse depending on the amount of enthusiasm someone has when they say it. If they say, “MAN! You have lost A LOT OF WEIGHT!” with this look of complete disbelief on their face, I feel just the slightest bit worse than when someone says, “You look good, have you lost weight?” Even though I have made a vow personally to tell someone they look great just because I think they look great, not because they may or may not have lost weight.
7. My next focus will be really working on the confidence part here. Need to. Because, as I’ve learned, I should have some no matter what size I am at the time. Because I am worth it.
8. Fun Fact: oh yes! I still have “baby bladder”. Yup! I am friends with “Poise.” I have “issues” when I sprint or run for long distances. My O.B. told me I can have a procedure done, but it wouldn’t really help if I plan on having another child (which is in negotiations and that’s another topic entirely.) But I did feel the need to reply to someone on a triathlon messageboard who had the same problem because there is no wearing a pad when you have to swim then hop on a bike then run (no where to change!) so here was my advice (or secret): on the run, grab a cup of water to drink and a cup of water to douse yourself. People think you’re cooling yourself off, but really you’re covering up some leakage but no one will know the difference. So there. I’m one with it and I’m out in the open about it now!
So there! Happy Labor Day everyone! Time to fess up!! What’s in your closet??