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Thursday Three

[ 18 ] 08/05/2010 |

There’s a little girl inside of me.  She’s hidden; you can’t see her, but I know she is there.  She’s tucked in a far away corner in the back of my mind.  She is as much a part of me as my hair is brown or my eyes are green.  In fact, she has brown hair and green eyes.

You see, that little girl is me.  She weighs 206 lbs.  She is overweight because she is unhappy.  (Not unhappy because she’s overweight.)  She is so scared of life that the only thing that she knows how to do is stay overweight.  She is hurting.  Her heart keeps breaking.  She desperately just wants to live life fully.

Why do you keep her with you, you ask?  You have a new you, so throw her out. That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?  I can’t throw her out.  She is a part of me.  I need to keep her with me so I can remember what it was like to be 206 lbs and barely surviving life.  She helps to remind me that I’ve been there, and I will not go back.

There have been recent times when I can feel her moving about in my brain.  She sometimes tries so very hard to take control again.  Sometimes, for a very brief while, she does.  Her old habits creep back into me because some of those habits were comforting to me at one time.  They were how I survived.

Kick her ass, you say?  No.  That is not what she needs.  She needs comforting and re-assuring.  She needs to be shown that everything is just fine, and we WILL be okay.  She knows I am right, so she slips back to her corner of my mind, and we are okay.

The thing about this journey, this life journey, is we have to remember that we have all been there.  We’ve been those little girls, who for whatever reason, just were not happy.  We get to the point where we are figuring out why, and we are creating our paths that lead to happiness.  These new people we become are amazing, wonderful beings.  But that doesn’t mean we should forget who we were.

We should embrace them and honor them because without them, we would not be who we are today.

For today’s Thursday Three, I’m wondering if you all will play a game with me?  We’ve just started a new challenge, and new challenges bring new faces.   What I’d like for you to do is to tell us 3 things about yourself that we may not know.  It can be anything you want.  Let’s get to know each other, shall we?

I’ll go first:

1.  My favorite color is orange.  I drive an orange Escape, have orange flip flops, and if I did not show some restraint, my closet would be full of orange shirts.  It’s a sickness, and I love it.

2.  I once started writing a book.  Maybe one day, I’ll finish it.  It has potential.  (My JV basketball coach once said, “Potential means you have the ability to be great, but you aren’t worth a damn yet.  Let’s practice.” Maybe I need to practice.)

3.  I can say all 50 states in alphabetical order in less than 60 seconds.  This was something I learned in 6th grade, and it stuck.  I have a weird memory that holds all kinds of random facts like that.  Go ahead, ask me how the white rhino got its name.

Now it’s YOUR turn!  What are three things about YOU?

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Category: April, MIND IT, Thursday Three, WEEKLY

About april: I'm a brand new cyclist! In just a few short months, the sport has reminded me that it's all about the journey, and I need to enjoy the ride. I live with my two dogs and two birds, and love to spoil my nephew. Oh yeah, and I'm 32. View author profile.

  • http://www.littleladybugthatcould.blogspot.com ladybugs714

    Oh i have the same little girl, and i think our friends need to keep each other company so they won't interfere with how far we have gotten! I tried to shove some pizza into my girls face to shut her up, but that only sabotaged myself.

    Oh this is fun…and I'm guessing your orange can be attributed to VT perhaps?

    1) When I was in 8th grade, I started signing all my school papers with the “e” at the
    end of my name, like Mendi was sooo much cooler. This last almost a whole quarter. And yes the “I” was topped with a heart….duh.

    2) I used to wear Lee Press on Nails to church, when I was in 5th grade. And I”m not talking active length…full on cat curved nails.

    3) I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. at least once, sometimes twice.

  • http://thesassymama.blogspot.com Heather

    Amen, girlfriend. So true, ignoring the little girl inside is not the answer. Maybe what we need to do is help her heal, help her move on, help her grow. I love this post, so much.
    Three things you might not know about me:
    1) I have an irrational fear of water where I can't see the bottom. As in, I'm not entirely convinced that great white sharks DON'T live in lakes.
    2) My Dad is a commercial fisherman and I can clean a fish like nobody's business. However, I can't fillet worth a damn and my husband won't eat salmon (which we could basically eat for free all year round – BOO.)
    3) I could feed and clothe my family for a week with the contents of the floorboard of my car (also an Escape).

  • http://smartstrongsexy.blogspot.com Brooke F

    1) I was never claustrophobic until I spent HOURS waiting in the bowels of Lady Liberty to view NYC from the postage size window in her crown. I now have panic attacks whilst taking my niece and nephew through the penguin exhibit at the aquarium

    2) I met my husband online. I have since met 4 online friends in real life (including April) and will add Bari and Mendie to that list at the end of this month.

    3) I take allergy shots once a month. I started getting them when I was in elementary school and required 3 nurses to give me the shots – two to hold me down and one to administer. I started back in college when I was taking 2 allergy pills daily with no relief. I swear by them (and rarely have to take pills at all).

    when I was getting my iron infusions and getting stuck with a needle over and over while they tried to find a vein – my mom told me how proud of me she was that i was so good about it, and how far i've come since those days as a scared little girl getting allergy shots.

    nothing scares me now – bring it on! okay maybe not, but i act a good tough game.

  • http://nothingbutchatter.blogspot.com/ kiminia

    1. I was anorexic in high school- that is my 'little me' that tries to come out & play.
    2. I am thankful that 'old skool' things are coming back.. canning, gardening, sewing, frugal-ness.
    3. My home kitchen is decorated in chickens & roosters. (Ok so I was reaching here LOL)

  • mitakay

    MY little girl is always convinced whenever we walk into a room that people are talking bad about us under their breath. She needs new clothes and shoes pretty often to keep her from having full-on panic attacks.

    1. I hide candy in my underwear drawer. Not because I don't want anyone to know I'm eating it… but because the boys can't get into it and eat it all. It also keeps me from eating too much at one time because my dresser is in the basement and I spend most of my time upstairs.

    2. My weakness is ice cream. Seriously. I can live without cake and cookies and brownies. But I NEED ice cream. My Nans got me an ice cream maker for my birthday a couple years ago and it's one of my FAVORITE gifts evah.

    3. I cannot stand Will Ferrel. He's a dumbass and watching him makes me angry that I am losing minutes in my life that I will never, ever get back.

  • http://christy.shrinkingjeans.net Christy_TheSistherhood

    April, this post is amazing. Seriously. You are so right about never forgetting that little girl inside of us. That little girl with all of her flaws and fears.

    1. Growing up, I didn't have many girl friends. I had 3 younger brothers, my mom had 4 brothers, and all the kids on my block were boys. I could throw a mean football pass.
    2. I can do anything myself. I'm kinda like a female MacGuyver. This includes changing the oil in my truck (not that I ever do this!), firing up the charcoal bbq grill, and rigging guide wires to hold up a 12 foot Christmas tree. My husband is annoyed by all of this, because he is not MacGuyer, nor does he want to be.
    3. I loved high school. Someone told me when I was a freshman to enjoy every moment, and I did. Now I look back and am so grateful that I lived my high school years to their fullest!

  • Pubsgal

    My little girl needed quite a jolt to get moving from the comfy couch and bon-bons, but she *did* get moving, and I adore her for it. She is tickled and amazed at all the crazy new things we're doing now, although she sometimes misses being able to eat as much chocolate as she wants.

    Hmmm…my three things?

    1. I like to doodle. It has helped me stay awake and at least semi-attentive in more classes and meetings than I care to count, and I have fun making people laugh and delighting my kids with my doodles.
    2. Christie's “female MacGuyver” revelation (*love it*!) reminded me of my own minor MacGuyver moment at the park. My friend's boys didn't have a shovel to dig with, and they were bummed. I had an empty water bottle in my hand, and a Swiss army knife in my purse, and in a couple of minutes, those boys had a shovel. booYAH!
    3. I was a frustrated horse enthusiast growing up. For years, I was too heavy to go horseback riding, but then I wasn't, and I kept putting off going riding. I think I was sort of saving it for “at goal” instead of going for it “at goal enough”…but after a year and a half of “at goal enough,” I mentioned my dream to my husband, and he urged me to go for it! I went riding at a place that has a nice string of properly cared for Tennessee Walking Horses (a breed with a very smooth way of going). It was *magical*!

  • http://www.averagemomswearcapes.com Christieo

    I LOVED this post. And I wholeheartedly agree with you. Without that former self, there would never be a current self. You're exactly right.

    My son loves orange too, I always thought it was weird (I mean, who picks orange? Isn't red and blue and pink and purple the popular ones?) but you guys do! And I love that you both pick orange.

    facts about me:
    -i too have started a book (well, about 5 of them really) and one day I will finish at least one, but i've decided that i have to have a beachhouse where i can escape to for the entire weekend and drink wine and write in order to do it.
    -i played little league baseball growing up and was always the only girl on the team and i was pretty damn good! then i tried out for the jv boys baseball team at my high school but didn't make it. also, my boyfriend at the time dumped me for doing it.
    -I've been a tomboy my whole life but within the last couple years have fallen in love again with all things pink so therefore, there is pink in my life EVERYWHERE. watches, hats, sneakers, clothes, lipgloss, if only they made pink cars (i do have a big pink sticker on mine though!)

  • http://www.whooosthatgirl.com Lissa_ShrinkingJeans

    Love this post!

    Three things you may not know about me:

    1. I have a sensitivity to certain smells… I can get a headache instantly when I smell certain perfumes, colognes, air freshners, Pine-sol, I could go on and on. I have a headache right now because someone went and plugged in the new air freshener I bought last week and can't stand.

    2. I want another baby. Or I'm having a midlife crisis? But seriously. My kids do, I do, my husband? He will take some convincing. He thinks I am too old to have another kid. Since when did having a baby in your early thirties become too old?

    3. I love Lemonheads.

  • Lisa

    Awesome post, April!

    I feel like an open book with my life but I'll try to come up with three things.

    1. I cry easily. Sappy Hallmark commercials, cute babies in diapers, the “You complete me” moment in Jerry Maguire (and all other tender moments in movies- comedy, drama, adventure, whatever!), certain songs on the radio, a friend crying for whatever reason.
    2. I love to read and have been making a conscious effort to turn off the computer and read before bed. My current book: The Help (Love it!)
    3. I only feel like I am getting a great workout if I sweat a lot. So when I do yoga and pilates and things like that, although I know it is good for me, making me stronger and more flexible, I don't feel as if I am sweating enough to call it a workout. I know, I know.

  • Bari_F

    Here's mine (plus a look back at the past 7 months).
    http://diaryofashrinkingchick.blogspot.com/2010…

  • DebraCC

    Great post.
    3 things:
    1. I love to play softball but am very bad at it.
    2. I have a crush on Dr. Reed from Criminal Minds
    3. I used to write poems and haiku but haven't done that in a long time.

  • babyboy3

    My 3 things:
    *I love to scrapbook (haven't done much lately) but love the time to be creative and talk with my girlfriends.
    *I have 2 sisters and 4 brothers (1 is a step), so I grew up more of a tomboy than girlie too. I have reintroduced pink into my life recently too.
    *I still get together with 6 of my girlfriends from grade school and high school once a year for a girls weekend. This year is Iowa, last year was Chicago.
    It was nice learning some new things about all of you. Thanks for sharing.

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  • Mary P.

    Great post! Lots to think about there. I would like to think that I treat my “inner” little girl with gentleness and kidness but I know that is not always the case. I think if the whole world in general were to treat others like the kid inside them, that would make for some crazy amount of peace. OK — enough of my kumbaya!
    My 3 things:
    1. I'm a budding stand-up comic. Tried it for the first time in April, loved it and have since done a few shows. I have a gig this weekend in fact and am very excited!
    2. I once drove in a demolition derby. I'm a journalist and was working for a small newspaper when I wanted to write a first-person piece about what it would be like to drive in a demolition derby. I entered and won third place! Still have my trophy – and a chunk of the car as a souvenir
    3. I get the hiccups off and on all day long, every day, since I was a child. They seem to kick up under stress. Yep, weird i know!

    Lisa, I LOVED The Help! It was my fav book in 2009 and one of my all-time faves overall. I am forever telling people to read it.

    Ladies, I am really enjoying getting the chance to know you all!

  • http://www.melgetsfit.com MelGetsFit

    Mine is a day late, but I finally got it posted.

    http://www.melgetsfit.com/2010/08/06/thursday-t…

  • Virginia

    I want to be a stand up comic! I have so many jokes but am too lazy to write them down. My husband thinks I am crazy.

  • Virginia

    I loved reading everyone's responses!
    1. I have 6 brothers and 5 sisters. When my brothers made fun of me they called me Skinny Ginny. ..but I wasn't skinny.
    2. My favorite color is purple because all my sister's hand me downs were purple and it stuck. BUT I really like Green. It is slowly taking over my closet.
    3. I love to bake bread. I have a whole bunch of new recipes to try but won't because I know I will eat most of it.