Last Saturday, I was out for a 4.5 mile run. It was my first cold weather run and my longest run in a long time. I was nervous. I told Dave (my hubby) before I left that I felt physically ill because I just didn’t know what to expect.
I put on my (new) cold weather gear, strapped on my GPS and my iPod and headed out the door.
I walked for a minute and then started off at a jog. I felt good, but I knew the route and I knew the exact points where I had stopped to walk in the past.
When I reached the first 1/2 mile point (the start of my usual walking interval), I felt good so I kept on going.
When I reached the mile marker, I felt good so I kept on going, convinced that I would be stopping before the next 1/2 mile ticked off.
So when I reached the 1.5 mile point and I still felt good, I just kept right on trucking. Then I got scared.
I don’t know what it was, but I started psyching myself out. I was thinking how much of a fluke this run was. How unusual the good feeling was and how it couldn’t last.
Then I asked myself, “What if I can’t do this?”
And, almost immediately, I answered myself…
“Yeah. But what if you CAN? Isn’t that what you are really afraid of?”
Two years ago, on my personal blog, I wrote a short little post about being afraid. And that same feeling still holds true today.
If I do achieve my goals, what’s next? Do I sabotage myself so that I always have something to work for? Why is the idea of “What’s next?” so damn scary??
Well, you know what? I’m going to work to change that feeling around. I want my “What’s next?” to be filled with possibility and excitement.
From now on, my “What’s next?” is going to push me forward, not hold me back.
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