(If you’ve filled in the blank already with a word in your mind, keep that, hold onto it, we’ll get to it in a minute. Mkay?)
I spend half my life apologizing for myself.
I catch myself doing it all the time.
I’m going slower than my running partner and I say something like, “I’m sorry, I”m not awake yet.” or “I’m sorry, I’m not really a runner…”
Or I’m working out with the trainer and like even recently, I say, “I’m not that flexible.”
And then I watch people who weren’t what they are doing at one point who are becoming what they’re doing and even getting good at it, and I compare myself to them. “Oh they must have natural talent,” I say. Because of course, “I don’t.”
I spend so much time telling myself what I’m not, that sometimes I’m not even sure what I am.
It hurts my heart to treat myself that way.
And well now, to be perfectly honest here, I’m tired. I’m tired of telling myself what I am not and watching myself talk myself out of being good at something. I’m tired of making myself believe I am incapable of becoming whatever it is that I am doing and watching people around me believe in themselves and going for it.
I don’t know if I’m all alone in this or not (am I?)
Recently I thought about filling in the blank.
“I’m not _______.”
I immediately filled the blank with “a runner.” And as long as that blank is filled with those words, I will believe them. And it really got on my nerves to be honest that I have been running for 2 years and still don’t think I’m good enough to call myself that. I’m not being fair to myself. And so I got a little pissed off and decided that I would change the words.
I replaced the words with: giving up. “I’m not giving up.”
So I ask you:
When you see the sentence, “I’m not ______.” What do you fill the blank with? What is the first thing that pops into your mind?
Be honest.
And if it’s not positive, then change the wording a little. Now what do you get?
And feel free to share any past experiences as well in the comments below. Have a great day!
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