Remember when….
My niece gave me her wedding videos to transfer to dvd for her. I had to watch them. The wedding was in September 1996. How could I not watch them? All four of my girls were in the wedding. My oldest was two years younger than my youngest is now. I was very curious to see everyone.
I popped it in. I think I am one of the few people who still has a vcr. It was a hoot. My girls were adorable, of course. My niece was beautiful, of course. People looked so different or so much the same. It just depended on the person. Too many people are gone now, but it was nice to see them again smiling and laughing.
The real kicker came when I saw myself. Not to toot my own horn, but I looked pretty darn good. But the first thing that popped into my head was “Remember when you thought you were fat then?”. I was probably 20 or 25 pounds thinner than I am now. What I wouldn’t give to be that fat now!
This video had me thinking for the rest of the night. Why is it that no matter what size I am, I’m never happy with it? What is it about my make up that makes me unhappy with myself on a daily basis? I’m pretty sure I’m not the only that feels like this either. Do any of you have this problem?
I weigh more now than I have at any other time in my life. This little fact includes the times I was pregnant and one of those times I had twins. The funny thing is that I think I am in better shape now than I ever was before.
I know that I didn’t gain this weight overnight. I also know that it isn’t going to come off overnight. The fact that I keep trying to get it off must count for something. I keep hoping that one of these days, I’m going to wake up and see that it is all working. I truly believe that one of these days, this is going to happen. If I didn’t think it could, I don’t think I could keep pushing through it.
I’m not perfect. I think that is pretty obvious. If I was, I’d be skinny. I just need to keep on trying. We all need to keep on trying. I know that a lot of you are far better at this whole process than I am. I read your blogs and tweets. You help me tremendously. You inspire me to keep trying.
I go to boot camp and zumba. I do the Shrinking Jeans boot camp. I walk five mornings a week. I try my best at eating right. I keep trying to drink at least 64 ounces of water a day. I know that this is how it all works.
And the next time I say “Remember when” it’s going be different. It will be “Remember when you were fat, but look at you now!”.
