Earlier this week I went out for dinner and wine with a new friend. We talked and had a great time and like so often happens in our society and culture nowadays, especially between girls-ladies-women, my new friend made a comment on her appearance:
“Sorry I look like such a wreck today.”
First of all, this woman did not ‘look like a wreck’ – and so of course I told her that.
And that’s when it spiraled out of any sort of control. From how un-pretty she is to how she can’t get or keep a boyfriend to how she wished she had all of these different physical features, my new friend went on to talk about subject after subject centering on how she doesn’t like anything about her body image. It got to the point that I asked her flat out if she liked anything about her appearance. “Sometimes,” was her answer. She even went to far as to show me a photo of Blake Lively because she ‘would give anything to have her hair.’
This chick is absolutely gorgeous, y’all!
Her answer and her negativity toward how she feels about herself really struck a chord with me. It made me feel sad that this beautiful woman couldn’t think of one thing she likes about herself, physically. It reminded me of the article I wrote over a year ago about “fat talk” among women and how body image takes hold in countless conversations. Although this friend didn’t focus entirely on her weight, there were no positives. And, whether she was fishing for compliments or not, she seemed indifferent to anything I had to say regarding the way she looked.
We all have features that we don’t really care about on our bodies – but that’s often what makes us unique. If we were all supermodels with perfect skin and lush hair, there would be no diversity – no differences – no excitement. There’s a difference in wanting to change something to improve your health and to feel good versus simply to be prettier – the latter starts within. And to put so much weight into body image, and what you’d like to change about yourself, your curly hair or your cute feet are or your long neck, or any other beauty you posses gets glossed over. It’s an extremely unhealthy state of mind and can be self-destructive in more ways than one.
So this week I encourage each and every one of you to look in the mirror, or don’t, and find one thing you love about yourself EACH DAY THIS WEEK! If you take a moment to take self-inventory, you might find that there are more features to you that are unique and that are beautiful.
I’ll start: after 4.5 years of braces when I was younger, countless orthodontist appointments and some seriously ingrained dental hygiene, I have a beautiful smile! I love my smile and love making other people smile with my smile.
Everybody possesses beauty, both inside and out. I challenge you to be bold, be brave and tell us here at The Sisterhood where your beauty lies. I want you to BRAG! So, let out – shout it from the roof tops (safely). YOU.ARE.BEAUTIFUL!