If the Zombie Apocalypse happened tomorrow, would you survive it?
Or would you be one of the first to go?
Let me back up.
I did not get sucked into The Walking Dead until it was a few seasons in. I had heard of it but quickly dismissed the idea of watching a *zombie show* because 1) Zombies- DUH and 2) Zombies are stupid.
However, I had a very trusted friend who badgered me into watching in, promising me I would love it, to just give it one chance by watching the first episode of the first season and if I didn’t like it, then I could say *no thank you* and she would leave me alone about it forever more. So one slow weekend night when the husband and I could find nothing else to watch, I used that same reasoning and logic on him to watch *the zombie show* with me…JUST one episode.
We watched three episodes the first night and then binge-watched the rest until we caught up to the season they were showing on TV.
I absolutely LOVE The Walking Dead (and I don’t watch much TV) and we never miss a new episode.
So, I have zombies on the mind, and I play the *what if* game with myself which is hilarious and silly but OMG, WHAT IF there was a Zombie Apocalypse?! Would I be prepared? Would I be ready? Would I be one of the first to go? What character on The Walking Dead would I most resemble?
These are VERY important things to consider. For realz, yo.
In that vain, I have come up with a plan to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, the Shrinking Jeans way. Follow this plan and maybe you won’t get eaten alive by those damn zombies.
- Check Facebook to make sure there is indeed a Zombie Apocalypse happening because we all know if it’s not on Facebook, then it isn’t real (HA!!!).
- Put your nachos and pizza and chips and anything else carb-heavy DOWN.
- Print out 10 weeks worth of Shrinking Kitchen dinner menus.
- Grab some spices, a knife, and water and shove them in a backpack….maybe some matches, a flashlight, batteries, and a jacket if there handy.
- Run like HELL.
How’s that for a plan?
Shall we dig a little deeper? Pull back to the here and now and think- what could I be doing now to prepare for LATER (that is assuming, of course, that our world is overtaken by zombies, which is highly unlikely, but you never know). Let me break it down in several different areas for you- Fitness, Nutrition, and Well-Being.
You never know when the Zombie Apocalypse could happen, so you have to be fit at all times. You need to be strong in order to defend yourself, travel long distances on foot, and be physically ready for all demands a post-Zombie world could throw at you. Sitting on your arse right now won’t cut it then. We at the Sisterhood can help YOU be fit!
- BootCamp: take 6 weeks and follow our boot camp regimen and get in shape. Do you think zombies take boot camp? NOPE!
- Monthly Workout Calendars: we have monthly calendars of workouts dating back to 2013. Want fab abs in a post-apocalyptic world? Strong quads, shoulders, core, hammies, and more? Scroll through our 10 pages of monthly workouts, pick one and DO IT.
- Running: Look, if our world was to be taken over by zombies, chances are we would have less and less access to cars and gasoline. That means wherever you go would be on foot. Not to mention have to outrun zombies and other bad guys who do not have your best interest in mind. Mid-pursuit would NOT be the time you should be thinking about taking up running. Start running NOW or if you really want to be crazy strong– combine running with strength exercises (scroll down) – so you’re ready for those bastards!
Look, when the poop hits the fan, we aren’t going to have the access to all the crap some of us put in our bodies. While we know shouldn’t do it or at the very least, keep it in moderation, sometimes it’s hard to say no and put it down. In a post-Zombie world, though, we will be forced to eat what’s available and folks, I’m here to tell you that means
whatever the hell you can find fruits, veggies, and meat if you can get your hands on it. Start clean eating now with the Whole 30, or go vegan, or cut out the sugar (we aren’t going to have it when we’re living among zombies and plus that stuff is EVIL), or look into the Daniel Fast.
Surviving zombies and a crazy world requires we take care of ourselves, starting now. Get enough rest AND get the best rest possible, find a way to de-stress daily, learn to adapt to what life throws at you – even a zombie apocalypse, and maybe try living minimally.
Would doing any or all of these things help you survive the zombie apocalypse? Who knows but doing any or all of these things could make your life better now and put you on a path to better health and fitness, and THAT is a good thing – Zombies be damned!
Lastly, as Ashley put it, “If I have to run from zombies I’m going to need: a good sports bra, thick socks, good shoes, quick-dry clothing, and layers layers layers. Oh, and hair ties!! And a headband…and I want to look cute doing all this! $$ Lady Footlocker, here I come! $$”. Right on, Ashley. I’ll address these important items in the next Zombie post!
If you ever have a few minutes and want to be highly amused, google *how to survive a zombie apocalypse* – so much fun.