This post is brought to you by Lisa Mo’, one of our new contributors! She’ll be around, posting more of her thoughts, as she prepares to get on the Shrinking Jeans bandwagon for good.
……9 weeks ago, to be exact.
Some women are fortunate enough to lose the baby weight with little to no thought to the matter.
I am not one of them.
Let me give you a little history (OK, a long history) about me.
Like most women, I have thought I was “heavy”, that I need to lose 10lbs, or 20lbs or 25 lbs. You get the gist. I would give my right arm to weigh what I thought was so heavy 10 years ago. I am now THIRTY pounds heavier than I was just 10 years ago.
I had my first child, a sweet baby girl, in October 2003. I lost the baby weight quickly but then because I thought I was so awesome at losing weight without trying, I decided that I could have just one more cupcake, another handful of Doritoes (more like the whole bag), just one more slice of pizza, that candy bar sitting over there on the table and so on. My hips told me otherwise and one year after giving birth, I was oh so not happy with the way I looked and especially the way I felt. For the first time in my life, I took charge of my weight and joined Weight Watchers Online. I was violently opposed to exercising (what if it made my muscles hurt or tired? EWWWW), but I did make the commitment to eating right. I was so disciplined and motivated.
I lost 25lbs in 3 months.
I kept it off until I got pregnant with my second child in June 2005. I started out lighter with this pregnancy, but ended up heavier by the end of it. I stopped counting how much weight I had gained once I pushed the forty pound mark. My second child, a cute baby boy, was born three weeks early in February 2006. I had a rough time adjusting to “life with two”, especially with my husband working 80-100 hour work weeks during the early months.
Food was my consolation to the stress. Fast forward 9 months and once again, I weighed even more. I was so unhappy with the way I looked, I began to NOT want to have my picture taken. I HATED the way I looked and I hated how wide my face looked. I shied away from the camera. If you know me, I love to take pictures, I love to have my picture taken with my family.
Finally, that September (my baby son was 5 months old then), I once again took matters into my own hands. I thought, I’ll just join Weight Watchers again since it was so successful for me the first time. Yeah, I couldn’t make the commitment this time. I just did not have the discipline with the food,
BUT I did join the gym and started exercising. I don’t know about you, but I have had gym memberships off and on for the past 10 years, but I never used them, at least not on a consistent basis. I had the membership, but it was more for show more than anything else. I would think about working out, pay my monthly membership, and then never go (‘cuz you know, it might hurt or make me tired, ha ha).
This time was different. I invested in a personal trainer, learned the proper techniques to lifting weights, and enlisted my friend to exercise with me. In the beginning (like the first two months, let’s be honest), the exercising hurt like he!!. Seriously. I was in major pain and yes, I was tired. However, I had made the commitment to exercise and I was going to stick to it, at least for now.
I became a gym junkie, living at the gym, going to exercise 4-5 times A WEEK. My weight didn’t change all that much, but my body did. I went down two dress sizes but only weighed 5 pounds lighter than when I started. It is true what they say- muscle weighs more than fat. I felt GREAT! I had more energy than ever and I loved the way I looked. Imagine the hottie I could have been IF I could have reigned in the eating!
Then, I got pregnant AGAIN.
I was so into exercising that I thought I would be one of those pregnant ladies who exercised right up until they give birth. I thought I would be able to manage what I ate during this pregnancy. That all flew out the window during my first trimester. I felt so sick to my stomach and so very tired. I tried to exercise a few times but after coming too close to puking on the gym floor one too many times, I decided to take a break. Wrong move. By the time I got past my first trimester and was ready to exercise, all my hard work from earlier was out the door and my heart, my poor heart, was too tired. Two weeks later, I broke a bone in my foot and could not exercise for 6-8 weeks (even if I wanted to).
My motivation was gone, just like that – Poof!
Once again, I was paying for the membership but not using it. History sure does repeat itself, doesn’t it?
Do you guys really want to know all this? I’m quite the rambler, aren’t I?!
I had my third child September 25, 2008, another wonderful baby boy. I topped 200lbs with this pregnancy, and then some. I weighed myself a few weeks ago but I’m too afraid to get on the scale again. I want to know, but I don’t want to know. Prior to giving birth, I knew that I wanted to lose the baby weight at some point in time. I gave myself until AT LEAST AFTER Christmas before making a concentrated, disciplined effort.
I am adjusting to “life with three” now.
I do have a plan. I do have motivation. This time around, I want to exercise AND eat right. Sounds easy? But it’s not, as we all know.
I also have fear. The “what ifs” have taken up residence in my little ole brain.
- What if my exercise and diet plan affect the nursing of my son? Breastfeeding is going so well this time around, and I am afraid of jeopardizing something that is so very important and special to me.
- What if my body isn’t able to handle the exercise this time around?
- What if I can’t keep my commitment to “eat right”?
- What if I eat right and exercise but my body doesn’t become what I think it should look like? I am 36 years old. Or am I 37? You know you are getting old when you can’t remember how old you are. I have to count back from the year I was born. Sad. It seems the older I get, the harder I have to work to get to where I want to be. Plus, my body shape has just changed over the last 5-10 years, pregnancies and babies aside.
- WHAT IF I FAIL?!!!!!!!! And what does “FAIL” mean to me? More importantly, what does “SUCCESS” mean to me?
As I sit here contemplating on how to wrap up my long post, I keep re-reading what I have already written. This is the first time that I have ever written down the history of my weight gain/weight loss. Everyone knows when I lost weight because I was only too proud to share the news; as for gaining weight, everyone knew that too but were too polite to say anything (except for my brother and mother-in-law, HA!).
I do have some goals in mind. For me, it’s more about fitting back into my pre-pregnancy clothes (I’m ready to give away my maternity clothes!) and feeling good about myself. And the health benefits, yes, I want to be healthy. Weight is just a number I have found, especially if you are exercising regularly. No one ever believes me when I tell them how much I weigh- I must hide it well. Either that, or all my friends are lying to me : ).
My jeans don’t lie though- they always tell me the truth. And right now, those jeans are too tight (in reality, I had to buy a few pairs of larger jeans to tide me over) and they are yelling at me “to put down the damn cookies and chips and to get off my ass and exercise, that having THREE children is no excuse”.
Oh yes, that is exactly what my jeans are telling me.
I could “talk” your ear off if you let me.
Peace out, and much love to all of you as you begin this journey.
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