Stumbling | The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans LLC


I am feeling a little complacent. Lazy, if you will. I have reached an all time low (weight) in my journey, and I feel like I’m stumbling, for lack of a better word. I WANT to lose the rest of the weight, believe me I do. I just feel like I’m lacking in motivation, which is crazy, because my motivation should be at an all time high, right? RIGHT?

I like the way I look right now. I haven’t weighed less than I do right now since I was in high school. My clothes look good on me, and though I could use some major toning up, I feel like I’m satisfied. But I’m not. I want to be skinny. Maybe I’m afraid to go any further. Hell, I don’t know what I want. What I do know is that I’m just not feeling it at this moment. I could feel completely different tomorrow, or not. Maybe next week will be better? I’m just tired of struggling and working hard and, well, I don’t know.

Shit, this is good stuff right? I mean you’re probably reading this and thinking that I’m completely nuts. I’m supposed to be here motivating you to keep going, to put down that late night snack, to get your butt to the gym. And instead I’m whining about not having the motivation to move forward.

You want to know about another thing that’s bothering me, you know, since I’m having a little bitch session? I’m just about done breastfeeding my daughter. We’re down to one time a day, and I know I need to give up the extra point/calories I’m allotted for nursing, but I’m feeling a little stingy and I don’t want to give them up. I have a feeling I should have given some of the up long ago, but I didn’t want to.

When I quit nursing my son, I gained 30 pounds. THIRTY. I had lost all the baby weight and then some and then I stopped nursing him and kept eating and gained so much weight. I was so miserable. And then I joined Weight Watchers and lost it all plus some. It felt good to be in control.

So I know what I need to do and I know I don’t want to lose control and start gaining weight again. I just need to suck it up and start tomorrow fresh, right? I need to regain control, find my motivation, and get on with it. Get on with it. Yeah, that’s what I’ll try to do. Tomorrow.

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