Christie O » Blog Archive » Fugly Shoes


I bought sneakers yesterday. I tried on a million pairs and fell in love with one.

The fugly ones. They are so ugly I can hardly stand it, but when I put my feet in them, they are like stepping on little fluffy pillows with each step. The best, most comforting, I can-picture-myself-crossing-a-finish-line-in-these feeling I have ever had with shoes. But man, they are not pretty. At least I don’t think so. And please, if you have these, do not be offended. Many many things look much better on other people than they do on me. Fyi.

All disclaimers aside, I always wondered when I’d turn the corner from buying things based on their looks as opposed to buying things for their functionality, but thanks to blogging I have an official record of it. August, 2009. Just shy of age 34. Thank God for blogging.

Pretty soon I’ll purchase my first housecoat with zipper. And maybe even put a Diet Rite in the front pocket like my Aunt Evie does.

But these shoes. The fluffy pillow ones. Ahhh. They’re like coming home. I tried on all the pretty ones and they were lumpy or bumpy, or snuggy or tight and I just didn’t like any of them. I kept trying not to like these ones but I couldn’t help myself. I even tried to pretend they weren’t on sale because I didn’t want my judgment to be clouded!

But they found me. Like a little lost puppy, they needed me. And I took them home.

The picture makes them look a little better than real life. My biggest complaint is their gray-ness. They are so gray. Grayer than even gray is. The gray of clay or putty. Dark gray. Not even a light pretty smokey gray. I feel like it’s the color of something my kid would make crafts with in school. And I can’t imagine what on earth they’d match with.

But they do have pink on them, does that count? Well, no, not really because honestly, the pink doesn’t make it any better in this case even though I usually think pink makes everything better. To me it’s like putting lipstick on a pig and my shoes are the pig.

So I am now the proud owner of a pair of shoes based purely on functionality. Unlike the ridiculous heels and platforms that I really love to wear. But really I only wear flip flops anyway because let’s face it, us stay-at-home moms don’t really have a reason to wear ridiculous heels or platforms on a regular basis. Occasionally, yes, but I’m all about the function. They don’t really work at the playground; in fact wearing a skirt doesn’t even work for that and I only know this because I wore one this week and when I climbed up some apparatus to get my 20-month old, I noticed that the flooring on said apparatus had holes all in it and there were a bunch of boys in a little cubbie hole underneath the whole apparatus and could see up my skirt if I didn’t pull my skirt as tight around my legs as I could and walk without moving my legs. That’s just what I need. To be the pervy mom at the playground.

Quite off topic. So I also bought a pair of shorts. A very special pair of shorts and I will explain why next week when I write a review about them. So VERY VERY special. But as I was heading up to the checkout at the sports store getting my shorts, I told the checkout guy that the shoe guy had already brought my shoes up and that they should be up here already.

He asked me what kind. I said the Asics. He said (opening the box), “Oh, duh. The ones that match your shorts?’

I must have some subconscious.

Because not only do I now have a pair of fugly shoes, I now have a pair of fugly shorts that match them.

Now how did that happen?

Of course he thought I did that on purpose, why wouldn’t he!? And he certainly didn’t believe me when I told him that not only did I NOT do it on purpose BUT that I also hate dark gray. I feel possessed. Like someone is buying these things and it’s not me.

Anyway, here’s the lesson part of this post. Shoes need to be replaced, did you know that? Mine started to feel like they were cracking in the middle, especially when I wore them to spin class. I bought them last summer and I have run countless miles in them so I knew they were due for replacement. But I never like dropping money on functional shoes. Fortunately, the fugly shoes were only $60. Anyway, when do you replace them?

Between 350-550 miles, depending on your weight. If you weigh more, then closer to 350. If you log 25 miles a week (which is not me), that’s every 3-4 months. So the test, according to, would be doing the following:

“You can check for signs of wear on the sole by placing your old shoes on a table and looking at them from behind. If the soles are worn and leaning to one side, the midsole cushioning is probably worn as well.”

Just a little fun fact and really more of an excuse to make your husband believe you need new shoes.

Ps. I bought a new gymbag this week and I noticed, after I wrote this post, and well after I bought the shoes, that it too, is that dark ugly gray and pink.

Seriously. WTH.