I’ve started and stopped this post a few times now. I don’t often talk about what I’m getting ready to tell you. And I’m not sure many people would understand this, and I’m not here to make you understand. But just to tell you how life can be for me.
A while back, I was very unhappy. So unhappy that I was quite certain that I was meant to be unhappy.
For a while, I thought being overweight was what was making me unhappy. I realized that was something I could change. Something I needed to change. Something I became determined to change.
Change it, I did. While I was working on fixing the outside, I realized how badly my inside needed fixing as well. I wasn’t unhappy because I was overweight. Being overweight was something that was a result of being unhappy.
Telling someone to “just be happy” or to “just stop being unhappy” is easier said than done. For me, unhappiness came from surrounding myself with people that made me feel like crap. They said it, so it must be true right? By the time I decided that my friendships with them were unhealthy for me and ended them, the damage had already been done.
So, here I was, nearing 30, losing all kinds of weight, and still not feeling 100% on the inside.
So I decided to work on that.
If you are married, you’ve made a commitment to another person, and you wear a symbol of that commitment on your left ring finger.
I made a commitment to myself to work on being happy. I felt like I needed a symbol. More like a reminder to me that I was making this commitment to myself. I had worn rings on my right ring finger for so long that I couldn’t feel them anymore. The same with necklaces. This was something that I needed to feel every time I wore it.
So, I started wearing a ring on my left ring finger.
I don’t wear it all the time. But I do wear it a lot. Especially on days that wake up, and I feel that I need to work on being happy.
There are times that I feel like I’m at 100% on the inside. Like on days that I have my nephew or when I’m with my BFFs. I’m so totally happy when I’m with these people that I’m beside myself, and I don’t need that ring. But there are still days that I’m not at 100%. It’s so easy to get down and stay down. Now, when I get down, I feel that ring on my left ring finger, tell myself it’s going to be okay, and I don’t stay down.
I love symbols. Symbols can be reminders of commitment, victories, or memories. They can be reminders of where we are going or where we have been. Sometimes all we need is a memory, but other times, we need something more physical. When I reach my goal weight, I’m thinking of getting a new tattoo. For others, it may be something else.
Physical reminders can also help keep us on track. Whether it be for “working on the outside” reasons or “working on the inside” reasons. And it can be anything. A ring or a necklace or a bracelet. Whatever it takes to remind you to keep at it. To keep working on it. Just like wearing a ring on my left ring finger is for me.
I won’t lie…for a while, I was starting to worry about myself. Now, I know that by making this commitment to myself and by using that ring as a reminder of that commitment, I’m going to be just fine.
So, I’m curious…do you have something that helps keep you on track? Something that reminds you of your commitment to yourself? Talk to me.
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