April 5, 2010 By lisa
Oh, where do I start with this post?
Let’s start with the facts:
- We just finished Week 9 of our Team in Training program.
- Last weekend’s 8 miler (as in 7 days ago, last weekend) did me in. My calves had finally reached their limit and were officially fatigued. It hurt so bad and I thought my calves might forever be stiff and sore. I ran one more time last Tuesday and kaput- that was it. No more running for me since.
- Coach Joe’s orders me to rest and relax, that my body was tired. I agreed. Plus, with my aching calves and an annoying popping sound in my hip, I knew my body was literally screaming at me to take it easy.
- I have not exercised since last Tuesday.
- I had a massage on Friday- ahhhhhhh. My calves felt even better after that. Unfortunately, the hip pain did not and proceeded to annoy me even more. My stride became uneven. Uh-oh.
- I saw a sports doctor today. I so badly wanted him to tell me all this “bleepity beep” was in my head. He did an xray of my pelvis area. He did different “orthropedic” moves on my legs, pushing them this way and that way, pushing and pulling. Inconclusive results. Scheduled an MRI for Tuesday to *hopefully* rule out a stress fracture. Fingers crossed, praying to the Running Gods that I do NOT have a stress fracture (a stress fracture would end my running career for the time being). ORDERED me NOT to run until he figures out what is going on. Did give me the green light to cross train.
- Headed to the gym tonight after the kids were in bed.
- Did the elliptical for 1.25 miles and the recumbant bike for 3 miles. Felt OK. Cried no less than 3 times. Not from pain, but from disappointment that I was not running.
Now for the feelings:
- I have been feeling sorry for myself since I was benched. I have been stressed and worried that I might be benched long enough NOT to be able to run the half marathon in June. I have been a teensy bit worried that maybe I really damaged myself.
- I have been whining and complaining about it non-stop.
- But today, while on the bike, crying for the third time, I had an ephiphany.
- I realized that I cannot undo what is done, but I can choose how to react and behave to whatever news is given to me.
- I choose to fight.
- I choose NOT to give up.
- I choose the accept that my body is the only body I have and that I need to treat it with respect and love.
- I choose to exercise however I can in the meantime.
- I choose to listen to my body even better.
- I choose to learn even more about the physiology of running- the why’s, the how’s, the what-not’s.
- I choose to fight hard and not throw in the towel.
This time-off is but a blip in my entire journey of running. It is allowing me to learn even more about myself and life and how I deal with unforeseen circumstances. I can’t control everything, no matter how I think I can.
You gotta roll with the punches. I am rolling.