The month of May is all about spring cleaning here at the Sisterhood! Have you read about May’s Monday Project? Basically we’re cleaning out the things that irk us. Fitness related, cleaning related, relationship related, whatever you want! Because any sort of stress has tremendous effects on our bodies, so get rid of it!
Christie O’s Project for week 2:
I was never a screamer pre-children. I just want to clarify. I was pretty quiet. If I was pissed off, I wouldn’t tell anyone (unless you were lucky enough to be a family member.) Now, I have no shame, I am sick of letting people walk all over me and after my first child began toddling, I started to yell. A lot. And then my children developed special mom-voice filters so that even if I raised my voice a couple more decibles, it didn’t matter. The only one yelling and frustrated would be me and there I would be stomping around having a tantrum of my own. And inevitably, my children would begin yelling to get what they want (which didn’t work for them, so why would I think it would work for me?)
So I decided I needed to stop yelling. Take it down a notch. Try and maintain some peace of my own and preserve my sanity. If that’s possible with two boy toddlers who are 19 months apart.
Some of my tactics have been:
- I ask questions. Do you think that’s a good choice? Do you like it when people hit you? Can you try asking again in your indoor voice? Can you use your words? Was that a nice thing to say? Can you try that again?
- Change the subject. Look at that shiny object over there!
- I try to offer two mom-approved choices so they’re under the illusion they have a choice.
- I’ve stopped saying “no” and instead say what we can do or offer an alternative. I.E. Him: “Can we climb a giant ladder and stand on the roof and jump off?” Me: “We can go outside and make sand birthday cakes, how about that?” Him: “Can we have cake?” Me: “It’s time for breakfast, but maybe after dinner.”
- Spell out the consequences nicely. “Hitting is not ok. You will not be allowed to play at the spray park if you hit.”
- I have tried diffusing situations way before they brew. For instance, now if we leave for school at 8:55, I get us ready at 8 because it takes about a half-hour to decide which shoes we want to wear and because for some reason, they slow down to a stop when we have to get ready to go somewhere, so this gives us time to do all that toddler dilly-dallying.
- I give them a head’s up before we change activities. (One more go down the slide and we’re leaving! We’re going to put on pajamas right after dinner, watch one Noddy and then it’s storytime!)
- Finally, if I really, truly get pissed off, I whisper angrily. I get quieter rather than louder. And it has become so much more effective than yelling! They know I mean business when I’m whispering.
No, I don’t always succeed (usually in an instance when we’re late for something in the morning or when I am pms-ing and have lost the ability for patience), but I’m trying. I don’t want my kids to cower when I’m upset and I want them to treat other people like they would want to be treated. So far, we have had a pretty zen-ful house this way, and I’m pretty happy about it! So that’s one of my May projects! Trying to keep the stress-free going here! What’s your project? Clear mind and body, fess up about it on your blog and post it here on Fridays! But don’t forget to visit everyone else! I’ll have a new project next Friday so come back!
Christie O’s project for week 1:
Today, I introduce you to my desk.
Because, you see, my office is right next to my bed. And last week, I couldn’t sleep at all. All of the things in that pile-up there were things I could be forgetting or missing or late on and it was driving me crazy! I couldn’t sleep just thinking about that mile-high pile and I couldn’t take it anymore!
So a couple of hours one afternoon and voila! Folders for everything!
There. Now I can sleep.
What’s bothering you? Come on, go post about it, link it up and if you don’t get to today I am reposting this link-up every Friday each month! The best part is visiting everyone else! I’ll be cleansing something else next week here, so come back for a visit and join me!
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