Thursday Three: Halloween Candy Disposal | The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans LLC


That smiley pumpkin guy right there is mocking me. Calling out to me: “Have all my candy corn, lady, you know you want to!”

And I do.

And I have. (Darn it.)

But I’m an adult. (Right?) I must exert some sort of self-control or at least exhibit some sort of example for my family and children whom I have limited to one (maybe two) pieces of candy at any point during the day because yes it is already in the house due to a party over the weekend. (Mostly they’re eating candy corn and eyeballs.)

So in true holiday fashion and with this being the Thursday Three, we’re going to discuss our creative ways to dispose of the Halloween candy this year because the scary aint in the masks or the ghouls or the goblins, scary for us this year is in the form of trick-or-treating on Friday and then again on Sunday. Because it’s not enough that we trick-or-treat on the actual Halloween day (which is a must, but we will only go to a couple houses in our neighborhood) but we must trick-or-treat when our little town has their Main Street celebration because that’s when they close down the streets and the firefighters come out and that’s a treat for everyone and it’s just too much fun to miss.

But Halloween isn’t about the candy or at least I won’t let it be. It’s about being a Jedi family, with a Luke Skywalker (“OOk kaywocka”), a tiny Clone Trooper, a Princess Leia cinnamon bun hairdo and a husband in a tight Han Solo outfit.

That’s what it’s about.

I won’t let candy have power over me this year. Nope. I’ll choose my favorites and then be done with it and ship it off into the bright blue yonder or the giant candy bowl in the sky. Or something like that.

Here are my top 3 creative ways to dispose of Halloween candy (I have actually written 10, but these are my three faves.)

1. Strap a bag of it around my waist before an open water swim then untie it when I get out there and then let it sleep with the fishes. Hopefully this does not attract any larger fishies while I’m wearing it. The goal is not to look like bait. I’ll refrain from carrying the shiny packagings.

2. Make a candy suit out of it, sort of like Lady Gaga’s meat suit only without meat. It’d be a vegetarian meat suit, really. I don’t know what sort of statement it would make but it would be something.

3. Send it all to candy rehab so it at least has a chance at becoming a healthier candy and if it doesn’t then really you have to wait until it’s ready to change on its own because nothing can change unless it’s truly ready. Ya know?

OK, those are silly, but I do have a couple of real ways to dispose of the candy if you’re wishing to do so.

1. For instance, you can actually donate your excess candy to places like Meals on Wheels, to the troops and even to local dentist offices because they want to save your teeth from the wrath of the candy. Google it and see what you can come up with in your area! Some dentists are even offering cash for it, you might wanna get in on that!

2. Send it in with your husband and/or wife to the office. Not your own office. Because then you’ll still be in the same room with it. Send it to someone else’s office.

3. Craig’s List it! (Why not?)

Your turn! Share your favorite ways to dispose of Halloween candy! (Snickers bra, anyone?)

(Visited 8 times, 1 visits today)