December 29, 2010 By christieo
It’s a lot of pressure when you’re trying to be healthy and the only one responsible for you is YOU, isn’t it?
No one else is going to do it for you. No one else is going to push you. No one else is going to show you what you got. No one else is going to make choices for you and tell you when it’s time to start looking after you. Well they could, but we won’t listen because we don’t like being told that, we like to decide those things for ourselves.
But. That takes a really long time and in most cases, takes a rock bottom moment. Nope, it’s allll about you. You and you ALONE. And you can do it and feel alone. Or you can do it on your own and feel the power of one.
That’s why I love the name of this challenge. It takes the “loneliness” out of going through this process by yourself and inserts “power” into it.
Because we are way more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. You just have to start. Or restart. Where ever you are in the journey.
This season, I discovered that a person can have rock bottom moments at any level of fitness.
The most common rock bottom is at the beginning of the journey and I had one of those 3 years ago.
And then there are rock bottoms along the way and most certainly a rock bottom after you’re stuck and spinning your wheels in the mud toward the end of the journey where the weight begins to creep back on and slowly you are falling back into old habits and patterns. That can happen at any time and I’m never really ready for it when it happens. It would be nice if the motivation you experience periodically throughout the journey would just be a renewable resource and replenish itself over and over again. But it’s not.
My rock bottom came when there were weeks in a row where I couldn’t make even 5 minutes for a workout, when there was a death in the family and family was coming in from all over and there was just no time to make for myself. And then eventually after this, I had no desire to make time. No desire whatsoever.
5 pounds (at least) later…an angry grumpy mommy with pants too tight and a marathon looming hits yet another rock bottom in the journey.
Of course first you have to get angry (again) that you’re not the person who can eat everything that fits into your face and not exercise without gaining weight. You’ve grappled with this reality for years and dozens of yoyo diets, but it never ceases to make a person angry and bitter that they have family members who can eat bags and bags of consecutive chips and not gain weight but they are not that person. And then you have to eat some more because you’re mad about it. And then after the anger, you have to feel sorry for yourself about it and eat some more and make the situation even worse. Then you eventually take a shower because at this point you decide that you need to at least try to feel better about yourself because you’re putting your whole family through hell because you can’t stop yelling because you feel so disgusting about yourself and you’re projecting your feelings unto others and then you go to the gym and it feels real good and that 30 minutes makes you alive again. It makes you a better person and it reminds you that all is not lost and that you just have to do this again real soon.
And then you do it again and you’re on top of the world again. Or at least you feel like it. And you realize that even though you’ve put on some weight, you’re not as out of shape as you thought because you can still kick a spin class’s ass. And then kicking a spin class’s ass makes you want to do it more and it even gives you the energy to go organize your office and clean out your closet and your bathroom and get on top of your life again in general because when you let the eating and the exercising go, you let everything go, even sometimes the showering. Ick.
So you see, there are ebbs and flows and there aren’t always flows.
But there aren’t always ebbs either, you just have to swim upstream for a little bit to get out of the ebb.
The new year is beginning and I have to find my POWER again, the power of one that has made me conquer my goals in 2010 and the power of one that will help me conquer my goals in 2011.
Because ain’t no one gonna do it for me. And I sure as hell need to keep my sanity and take a shower every once in a while.
My goals for this challenge:
-DO NOT EAT OUT. Cook my food and be prepared with food from the grocery store which means going shopping. -RUN THE DISNEY MARATHON in less than 5 hours! -Continue to work out and eat right and drink lots of water. -Continue with a personal trainer and incorporate more strength training for 5 cardio days, at least 3 strength training.
-CORE WORK.
My goals for the year (races I’ve already signed up for:) -Disney Marathon (Jan ’11) -Escape From Ft. Desoto sprint tri (April ’11) -St. Anthony’s Olympic dist. tri (May ’11) -Morton Plant Mease sprint tri (July ’11) -1/2 Ironman Augusta, GA (Sept. ’11) -Clearwater 5150 Olympic dist. tri (Nov. ’11)
-Turkey Trot 10k Thanksgiving Day (NEW PR!)
So here’s to 2011, sisters! Raise your glasses! May the motivation be upon you! And when it isn’t, MAY YOU HARNESS THE POWER OF ONE AND FIND IT!
(Or at least come to the sisterhood for help.)