Squish the Ta-Tas to Save the Ta-Tas: Get Your Annual Mammogram | The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans LLC


Wanna know what really sucks?


No, I don’t have cancer but I had a little scare these past few weeks.

I went in for my annual mammogram, my third since turning 40 a few years ago.  It was the usual go ’round. Check-in, change into a gown, have some pictures taken of my ta-tas, change back into my clothes, go home, and get a call a few days later saying everything is OK.

Except the phone call I received went more like this:  “Hi Lisa, we need to schedule you for additional mammogram pictures and a possible ultrasound.  We saw an area of concern and want to take a closer look.  Blah blah blah…focal asymmetry in the left breast…blah blah blah.”


That was not the call I was expecting and to be honest, my brain fast-forwarded so quickly to the bad thoughts. I scheduled my appointment, hung up the phone, and burst into tears.

With the other stuff currently going on with my body, I did not take this as a good sign.

I had to wait one week for my follow-up appointment; it was this past Wednesday afternoon.

This appointment was similar. Check-in, change into a gown, and have some pictures taken of my breast.  Before taking the pictures, the technician showed me my original pictures and even to my untrained eye, I could visibly pick out what the *area of concern* was.  Breast tissue looks like spider webbing to me, and my pictures showed an obvious dark spot in the middle. The technician did her job, taking some very specialized shots (translation: awkward and a little painful) of that specific spot of my breast. She did what she called a *ROLL* view.  I called it the *titty twister*.   Stretching and twisting and flattening.  If you are wondering if it hurt or was uncomfortable, then I am here to tell you: YES AND YES.

After the pictures, the technician had me wait for my results in a different waiting room from the other women. I thought: Oh shoot, she saw something and she put me in a different room so I don’t make a scene in front of the others when they break the news to me.  Yep, my brain instantly went there. I had to wait an agonizing 10-15 minutes for the radiologist to read my pictures. During that time, I had already decided if need be, I would get rid of them (one or both), fight and live.

The prognosis when it came: ALL CLEAR.

The different views showed the dark spot on my breast as *overlapping breast tissue* and deemed normal.

What is my point?  I have many.

  1. Pay attention to your breasts. I have not been doing monthly self-exams but I have felt my own breasts more in the last week than the last 5 years combined. True story.  Get to know your breasts on an intimate level.  I’m serious, yo.  Early detection is KEY.
  2. Get an annual mammogram. If you are 40 and over, you should be having a mammogram every single year.  If you have missed a year (or a few years), there is no need to confess to me, just schedule that appointment right now and then, GO TO IT.  There is a reason women over 40 are required/recommended/whatever to do an annual mammogram.  Early detection is KEY.
  3. If you get called back for a level-2 mammogram, try not to freak the shit out.  It will be hard (it was difficult for me), but schedule it and go to it.  Early detection is KEY.
  4. If you know someone going through breast cancer, then please give hug them from me.  Now, pronto, stat.
  5. Support our very own Ann as she fundraises and trains for her Susan G.Komen 3-day Walk.

Squish the ta-tas to save the ta-tas.  Schedule that appointment now.

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