Posted by melissa on April 21, 2009
A few weeks ago, I ran across this blog. I was completely blown away by this man’s attitude and success he has had in reshaping his mindset and his physical self. He once weighed in at over 400 lbs and has managed to lose over HALF HIS WEIGHT! Amazing! I asked him if he would be willing to subject himself to a few questions so that I could share with all of you and he agreed.
Tony, weighing in at 420 lbs.
First off, tell us a little about yourself!
Sure. My name is Tony Posnanski. I am a General Manager at a restaurant; I am married with a wonderful wife, and a baby on the way. I have a dog, a wonderful family, and a no excuse attitude.
Stats? Height, Starting Weight, Current Weight...
I a 5 foot 6, and I am hovering the 200 pound mark right now. I was 420.2 a little over a year ago, and my lowest was 198.8, which was the beginning of March. Since then, I have been building muscle, so I am a few pounds over 200, but my pants fit the same, if not better.
How long were you overweight? Most of my life. I would say over 20 years. The problem was that when I would lose weight before, I would do it the wrong way, so even when I was thin I thought I was overweight. Now is the first time in my life where I do not feel overweight.
What made you decide to take action?
The love for my wife. I went to the doctor in February of 2008, and my doctor was concerned. My heart rate was 220/160 and my cholesterol was over 300. He told me I needed to either get gastic surgery or lose weight or I would be dead in three months. I did not want my wife to be a widow in her 20’s.
Has your wife made health a top priority as well?
My wife has always eaten healthy. Being pregnant, she does eat some foods that I probably would not eat (most people do, I am a crazy eater now) but she has always been great with moderation, which is something I work on. But my wife takes care of herself and our baby.
Have you followed a certain “program” or do you just count calories?
I do Weight Watchers, well, kind of. There was a program they used to have called “Core” which is like the “South Beach” diet. Basically, I do not eat processed foods. I make sure I do not overeat, and eat enough protein every day. I do go to WW meetings which are great, and I make sure that I stay away from processed foods (Bran cereal is the only processed food I eat), just fruits, vegetables, lean meats, fat free dairy, and whole grains.
Tony in March ’09, around 200 lbs.
What does a typical day’s meal plan look like?
It is so hard to say. I eat cottage cheese, eggs, raspberries, cauliflower, sweet potatoes, and chicken all day long. I try to eat more carbs in the AM and more protein in the PM. I make sure to have 1.5 gallons of water a day, and I always take a vitamin.
Do you ever splurge? I get asked that a lot. I look at food differently now. I splurge on books and things like different vegetables and fruits. I will never eat pizza or cake again. It is not worth it. So to answer your question, no.
What is your favorite snack?
I love cottage cheese, and I also love raw cauliflower. FUN!
What was the hardest food to give up?
None. I never loved food, just the concept of it. There is not something I have that I could say “Wow, I miss……” With my work out, I probably could eat something and not gain weight, but I love the way I eat now.
I see you are a chef! Can you please share one (or two!) of your favorite recipes with us?
Hmmmmm, I am a pretty boring chef. I like to boil and roast cauliflower, and I love to boil eggs. I wish I had more, but I try to love the food for food now. I do not want to put a Mercedes emblem on a Ford Escort (Dress up healthy food as unhealthy). I am no Hungry Girl.
Is it hard to remain on track in your profession?
I am a pretty focused guy. I think it makes my journey more interesting, but I would not say it is hard to be on track. There are plenty of healthy options at all restaurants. It is more about choice.
Did you begin exercising right away?
It was a couple of weeks after I started. My workouts were very slow at first, and then picked up. Consistency is the key to working out.
What is a typical workout for you these days?
I change my workouts all of the time. Now, I work out 6 days a week, three days cardio, and three weight training.
Favorite physical activity?
I love the Elliptical Machine and doing Squats.
What made you decide to start blogging about your progress?
My brother. He is a sports writer of SI.com, and he has a huge blog. I thought it would be fun just to write my thoughts down. I have never been the blogger to write what I eat, or complain. I just like to talk about fun things I see in life, and the perspective of a guy who was 400 pounds, and is enjoying his new thinner life.
Have you found support from your readers? Very much so! The people who read my blog are wonderful. Even the ones who write negative things motivate me now. Overall, I love the whole blogging thing, although I am very new at it.
What is your favorite thing about your new body? And your wife’s favorite thing about your new body? ;o)
We both like the same thing. My heart. It is healthier now, which is the reason for this journey, and it is what will help us overcome obstacles in life. 
Tony on April 15, 2009. Check out those guns!!
Thank you so much, Tony! You are amazing! Thank you for the inspiration! Keep up with Tony’s progress at The Anti-Jared.
Posted by thea on March 12, 2009
Thea, who blogs over at I’m a Drama Mama, has been a die hard Sister since we opened our virtual doors back in November. When we brainstormed new contributors, Thea’s name was the first to pop into our heads since she worked so hard with Beth on Tales from the Scales. And it’s our lucky day, because she has so graciously agreed to contribute to the Sisterhood and you’ll see her posting every other Thursday. Did I mention she’s pretty freaking hilarious?
Give Thea a big high five and keep reading to learn more about her! Look for her first post next Thursday.
Tell us a little about yourself! Your family, your pets, the skeletons in your closet!
Well, I’m a Leo. I like long walks on the beach and the sound of hands clapping while my name is exalted.
No seriously, I’m a nut. I like to have fun, but at the same time tend to take myself a little too seriously. I’ve been married to my husband, Dave, for nearly 8 years. We’ve got two kids. Jake will be 6 and Emma will be 4…both of their birthdays in April.
When did you decide it was time to lose weight? Was there a particular event or moment when you knew it was time?
I’ve never really been happy in my own skin. I was never more than 15 or 20 pounds overweight, but I always felt like crap. When Dave and I started to talk about having kids, I knew that I wanted to start off on the right foot as far as my weight. I joined Weight Watchers (the first time) in 2002.
How do you do it? Lose weight that is? Do you follow a plan or program?
I tried to do it on my own through various books or plans, but nothing ever took. As soon as the plan was over, I went right back to where I was because I hadn’t learned anything. I’ve been doing Weight Watchers on and off (you can’t do WW while pregnant) for nearly 7 years now, and I am FINALLY starting to get it. I can’t just lose and then go back to how I was. I need to keep working at it. I was always looking for the quick fix, and now I know there isn’t one.
What was your heaviest weight and where are you now?
I was at my highest weight after I had Jake. I was at 192.2 in May 2003. Now, I weigh 155 pounds, which is my goal weight. I’d like to go down to about 153 so that I can have what I refer to as my “vacation cushion”.
How do you reward yourself when you’ve hit a goal?
I’ve done lots of different stuff. When I first started out (or when I had a relapse and wanted to get back on track), I would pay myself $1 for every pound I lost. I would then use the money to buy myself anything I wanted…as long as it wasn’t food. I bought myself clothes, scrapbooking stuff, books. As I got closer to goal and was losing less, I would treat myself to a Starbucks Skinny Hazelnut Latte whenever I would have a loss. It was a sweet treat and but it stays on plan…2 points and milk serving. Bonus.
What are you going to do when you’ve hit your goal? How do you plan to maintain?
I’ve talked before about the fears I have about weight loss. To be honest, I’m really scared about maintaining. In some ways, it seems like a dead end. But that’s just stinkin’ thinkin’. I need to find something else to focus on. Which is why I’m trying to set some fitness goals for myself. I plan to run my first 5k in June.
What is your biggest weakness? Favorite snack?
LOL! What isn’t my biggest weakness? I’m a big snacker and a big sweets person. Those are my biggest downfalls. I’m also a stress eater. I really have to fight myself when I have a bad day. If you look closely, you can see steam coming out of my ears on some days.
Can it be a favorite if I haven’t had it in a while. I used to have a Butterfinger Blizzard every week or so, but I would say I haven’t had one in about a year (Go, Me!) My snack of choice now is usually something that comes prepackaged, that way I don’t have to think about serving sizes. I love granola bars and popcorn.
What drew you to the Sisterhood and what do you like about it?
Once upon a time, Beth had a site going called Tales from the Scales. I was contributor over there, too. As soon as I heard that the idea of a weight loss site was being ressurected, I knew that I was going to be a part of it. I wouldn’t be where I am today with the support and accountability of The Sisterhood. We truly are all in this together.
Posted by christy on February 11, 2009
What motivates you more than anything? What really gets you in the mood to eat right and exercise? Well, the Sisterhood has come to the conclusion that Success Stories are probably one of the best motivators EVAH. Who doesn’t want to hear someone’s story? Their tale from beginning until now. How they conquered their weight, their eating, their exercise aversion? How they became a master Shrinker? You do! Of course you do!
So we’ve decided to tap some of our successful Shrinkers and pelt them with endless questions and picture requests. These Sisters are not done with their weight loss journeies, but they’ve come far enough to know that they’ll make it!
This week we bring you April from My Life at Thirty. April is amazing!! Her story is so similar to mine, it seems like we’ve lived parallel Shrinking lives! We’re about the same age, started out around the same weight, and had a similar weight loss journey. I just don’t have any parrots. Other than that, you seriously couldn’t tell us apart 
To think it all started when we met on Twitter and I twisted her arm until she joined us!
So here is my interview with April. Grab a tall, cold glass of water and a healthy snack as you get to know one of your fellow Sisters.
Height: 5′3″ Starting Weight: 206 lbs Current Weight: 151 lbs
Pounds Lost: 55 lbs (21 to go!)
April, at her heaviest, in July of 2007
How long have you been overweight and what made you decide to take action?
My weight has fluctuated most of my adult life. I’ve tried Slim Fast, Atkins (which just left me feeling angry. I need carbs), and even let myself be a sucker and tried a “magic pill”. Yeah, that worked. Every time I’d come off of one of those diets, I’d of course gain it all back plus more. Every time I’d go up a size, I’d think, oh, I can lose this anytime I want. Then one day, I said screw it, and just didn’t care any more. I think my “wake-up” call was when my aunt (who is also overweight) called me fat at a family reunion. In front of the whole family.
Do you follow a specific program or are there certain websites that you love?
I call myself a student of Jillian Michaels (one of the trainers from the Biggest Loser). I’m currently reading one of her books, I’ve listened to her weekly radio show for over a year now, and I would pay good money to have her scream at me for an hour while I’m working out. So I’m a calorie counter. I’m going to be honest, at first it sucks. Journaling EVERYTHING, looking up calories on EVERYTHING, just to make sure I didn’t go over the calorie limit I set for myself. (I set my calorie limit based on my Basal Metabolic Rate, or BMR. I had to find out how many calories I was burning each day in order to create a deficit.) But now, I find that I just know how many calories foods have in them and can keep a “mental track” of how much I eat. Also, for a year now, I eat as much organic and all natural foods as possible and as little processed foods as possible. This is just a personal choice for me. You can certainly eat healthy and count calories without eating organically.
How soon did you begin adding exercise?
Immediately. In fact, I started exercising before I even thought about changing my diet. I was in denial that my diet was really crappy. I always thought, as long as I exercise, I can eat what I want, right?? Wrong.
April in March of 2008, 40 pounds lighter (holding her brand new nephew!)
Describe your workout plan. I’m a work out at home kind of girl, so I work out to DVDs. I like the gym, but I find that this works better for my schedule, and as long as I do my work out before I sit down when I get home, I’m good. If I sit, I’m done. I’ve tried the Biggest Loser, P90X, Turbo Jam, Get Ripped DVDs. I’ve also done everything from cardio to yoga. (hate yoga, by the way. To all of you yoga lovers, I think that’s great, but it’s just not something I can do a ton of.) I also like to mix it up with the DVDS and am always trying new ones. This keeps me from getting bored. Right now, I work out 4 to 5 times a week. For cardio, I’ve been doing Turbo Jam’s Cardio Party 3 times a week and for strength training I do either the Biggest Loser’s Power Sculpt or one of the Get
Ripped work outs 1 or 2 times a week. I have been known to exercise 6 times a week. Yes, it’s a little crazy, and I can’t do that all the time. I also bowl in a league once a week. (I used to tell people “yes I bowl; no I’m not good” but I just placed 3rd out of 78 bowlers in a tournament, so I don’t know how that phrase applies anymore. So, let’s say I’m improving my average.) Bowling actually burns more calories than you’d think. :o)
What is a typical meal plan for your day?
Boring. I’m single, so simple and easy is how I roll. I eat 3 meals and 1 snack a day. A light breakfast works best for me. Nature’s Valley granola bars are my favorite. A typical lunch is a turkey and cheese sandwich and raw carrots and/or snow peas. (Raw veggies are free foods!) Sometimes I’ll add a serving of baked chips. My snack is usually a cereal bar or protein bar. For dinner I try to mix it up. I eat a lot of grilled chicken. I try to have fish once a week. (I’m not a huge fan of fish, but it’s really good for you, so I can manage it if I smother it in salsa.) Once a month I’ll have red meat. I’ll either make a huge salad or brown rice with some sort of green veggie.
What food can you not live without?
I think I would die a slow and painful death if I had to live without Mexican food. I’m not kidding. I HAVE to have it once a month at least. And beer. I don’t drink a ton of it except on special occasions, but I like trying different kinds of beers and sometimes the darker the better. Oh, and coffee. I LOVE me some coffee. :o)
April in October 2008, 50 pounds lighter
Do you ever splurge?
Good lord, yes. If we deny ourselves things that we love, then we are setting ourselves up for failure. The thing to remember is that you can have what you love, but make it your treat instead of the norm. I’ve also learned how to take my favorite recipes and make them healthier. You can cut calories in so many ways. And there are just going to be days when I just blow the day completely off and just go nuts. Every now and then, that’s just going to happen. ;o)
What was the hardest thing to give up?
I haven’t really given up anything. I hate when people ask how my diet is going. I don’t think of my diet as something that I’m on, rather it’s how I eat. I choose to have a healthy diet. Also, I’ve learned that if I’m craving something, I might as well give it to myself because if I don’t then the craving is just going to get worse. I’ve figured out, though, how to keep from going too insane. I give myself one “bad” meal a week. Anything I want. As long as I know that I have that one meal, I’m able to have better control over what I eat the rest of the week.
Does your entire family eat healthier?
I’m single and live alone, but I do have dinner with my family once a week. My mom and I try out at least one healthy recipe a week. Sometimes the rest of the family goes for it, sometimes they don’t. But honestly, they’ve never had big weight issues. I mean, they all go through phases of gaining 10 lbs here or there, but they’ve always been able to take it off quickly. Makes me sick.
Favorite snack?
I love chips and salsa. My favorite chips are the ones made by Guiltless Gourmet. (only 120 calories for 18 chips!)
Favorite activity?
Are we talking like exercise activity or just in general? If we’re talking exercise, I have to say I LOVE plyometrics, or jump training. I know I’m crazy, but it’s a killer work out. I also like playing sports. In general, my favorite thing to do is to spend time with my 11 month old nephew. I’ve made it my life’s mission to spoil him rotten and I think I’m doing a great job. :o) And I love hanging out with my friends. I cherish the time we get to spend together. I’m also a nerd and love video games.
How do you maintain your weightloss?
It’s just my lifestyle now. I had to completely change my way of eating, exercising, and thinking. I don’t love eating healthy or working out, but I love the way it makes my body feel. I love being four sizes smaller than I was a little over a year ago. So, that’s why I do it.
Any goals for the future?
Win the lottery. :o) I like taking things day by day, especially when it comes to living healthier. But my goal is to lose the last 21 lbs. Losing 25 lbs and under is a whole different ball game than losing 50 or more and I’m having to re-figure how many calories I need, what types of exercises to do. Your body wants to hang on to those last stubborn pounds. That’s its instinct to do that, so it’s almost like starting over again.
What is your favorite thing about your “new” body?
This question kind of cracks me up. Not because of the question, but because of my immediate answer. To this day, I will still look in the mirror and think, wow, that is not pretty. I’m a chick, and that’s just how us chicks think. But then I look again and I see muscles! Real muscles! I FELT these muscles when I started all of this but I couldn’t see them. Now I’m starting to see them and it’s great! Also, I LOVE getting compliments about how much I’ve lost. When I got down 20 lbs or so, I still wasn’t getting compliments and I thought, what the heck is wrong with you people? Can’t you see I’m losing weight? Now, I get at least one compliment a week and I just love it!
Anything else you would like to share with the Shrinking Jeans readers?
Losing weight can be frustrating, annoying, tedious, and just a pain in the ass sometimes. BUT it can be done! I’m proof of that. I can be incredibly lazy, so if I can do it, YOU can do it! I gained that weight slowly, so taking it off isn’t going to happen overnight. I like to think of it as a marathon. There are going to be times when we fall off pace. Things are going to happen in our lives and this is just going to happen. Sure we’re going to be disappointed for “getting out of the habit”, and that’s fine, but we can’t linger in that disappointment. We have to get to a point where we know how we fell off pace, we let ourselves be okay with it, and then we try our hardest to get back on pace. If you do that, then you’ll realize how much better you feel.
April today!! Doesn’t she look amazing!?
So there you have it! I was right, wasn’t I? She’s amazing and she’s traveled a long road to get where she is today.
Keep up the hard work, April! I’m certain you’ll drop those last 21 pounds faster than you think. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, and thank you for being part of the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans!
Posted by melissa on January 13, 2009
I have known Danelle since we went to high school together in a small town in south central Idaho. We have kept in touch via Facebook and Myspace the last couple of years and I have been simply amazed at the transformation that took place in this lovely woman during the last year. I asked Danelle if she would be interested in sharing her story; she agreed, and I think you will all find her to be quite the inspiration!
Before:
After:
Height: 5′ 7″
Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 147 pounds
Pounds Lost: 80
How long have you been overweight and what made you decide to take action?
I gained about 20 pounds after I got married 10 years ago, but it was not until after the birth of my three kids that I saw a huge weight gain. My pregnancy weight (up to 40 pounds) would fall off, but then I would gain it right back. I was addicted to Pepsi and I think the sugar from that just packed the weight on. I never felt terrible about myself or did not realize how terrible I felt until my size 18 clothes did not fit and I had to make the switch to buying everything I owned at Lane Bryant. It was then that I began realizing that if I had to shop in clothing stores for bigger women, that I needed to do something about it. Looking back, that is when my self-esteem began to drop as well. Then In Dec. of ‘07, my mom came for the holidays and took the ” Before” picture of me cooking our turkey dinner. I was horrified.
Do you follow a specific program or are there certain websites that you love?
On January 3, 2008, Crystal (a friend of mine from CO) told me about www.caloriecountplus.com. I joined it that day, but it was not until the next week that I really began following it. Once I decided I was going to get serious about losing weight, I was determined to do so. For me, it was counting calories and at least three days of exercise. Crystal and I made weekly competitions that kept it very fun!! That is why your group can be such a success. You need to be accountable to someone.
How soon did you begin adding exercise?
I added exercise right away. I had never exercised. I was to the point that I could not shop at the mall without sitting down every few stores. I had no energy and I was always tired. I have a manual treadmill and I started walking 3-5 minutes at first. It about killed me. I worked up to 15-30 min. At least twice a week, I also did exercises around the house, jumping jacks, situps, crunches, wall sits (whatever those are called) and then I got a fitness workout with my exercise ball that I used once in a while. I also got some weights with that ball that I used.
Describe your workout plan.
I did my own thing. When it came to working out, I did not know what I was doing, but what I was doing was working for me. For the first few months, I walked on my treadmill everyday for 5-20 min. After that, I would ensure that I used the treadmill at least 3 days a week and did the other exercises twice a week. I saw the most results when I would walk 3 minutes and then jog 1 minute; I did this for three repetitions at least for up to 30 minutes.
What is a typical meal plan for your day?
When I first started I could have 1950 calories a day, according to the site. I averaged about 1700. For breakfast, I would either have a cup of cereal and a 1/2 C milk or I would have 1 egg and 1 slice of toast with butter. Lunch, I would have a ham sandwich with a slice of cheese and 3 pickles and BBQ chips. ( I counted out the 15 chips per serving and put the bag away) My lunches varied, but I tried to stick to around 400-600 calories. Dinner, I would make up the rest of the calories. I ate all things I had eaten before. I ate Hamburger Helper, tacos, spaghetti, and everything else you would eat, but I measured it out. I usually ate about a cup of food instead of the heaping plate I used to eat. There were many nights that I was way under and I would have a snack before bed. I know this is discouraged, but when I felt hungry or I knew that my body needed the extra calories I would eat them. I trusted how I felt. The key was portion control. I measured everything. Even on my ham sandwich, I counted out the 4-6 slices of Ham. One big change I made for the first few months to save calories was eat bread that was 45 calories/slice. This also allowed me to have two slices of toast for breakfast some mornings.
What food can you not live without?
I am a huge sweet eater. I also love BBQ Chips so I ate those often, but only 16 for lunch each day. I also love Snicker Bars and I remember a month or two into this process, I bought a package of the little Snickers. I figured I would just eat a couple when I was craving something sweet. My kids started screaming in Wal-mart, ” No Mommy, you can’t east those, you are losing weight”! It was horrifying! I did buy them and ate just a couple at a time. I was very good at logging every calorie.
Do you ever splurge?
I am a huge splurger. For me it was not about a diet. I knew I would fail. It was about a lifestyle change and one that I would be willing to keep and stick to even after I had lost weight. I still eat a lot of sweets, many more than I should, but I weigh myself every time I go into the bathroom and I can tell by the weight if I am eating right or not. The first 6 months were the most tedious and hardest months. I would have 1/2 C of ice cream instead of a huge bowl. Once again, I eat per portion on the box instead of eating from the box.
What was the hardest thing to give up?
I have not given up anything except for my Pepsi. I was drinking up to 200 ounces a day and I stopped cold turkey. I have never smoked or drank, so I knew nothing about addictions, but I literally went through a withdrawal stage from Pepsi. I thought about it all the time and it was difficult to not pull into the gas station for one every time I went by. I also gave up fast food the first couple of months and then after that I ate healthy choices when I did go out to eat with my family and friends. I also stopped feeling like I had to clear my plate. I took leftovers home and tried sharing my meals with my kids instead of buying each child a meal too.
Does your entire family eat healthier?
Yes and no. My husband is old enough and stubborn enough that he will cook his own food if he does not like what is made. He also is the one who brings most of the sweets into the house and it drives me batty. The kids do eat better. They have been eating healthier snacks and more apt to try veggies. I still do not buy a whole lot of veggies because I do not like them, but the kids have learned to eat salad and a few other things. They also eat a whole lot more fruit than they had in the past. We have tried a lot of new things in the past year. The thing we are tackling this year with the kids is also portion control. My 7-year-old seems to be shoveling it in. We are discouraging them from second helpings and trying to give them a fruit or something healthy instead.
Favorite snack?
My favorite snack is ice cream or cookies. (Who doesn’t like those??) This last year I have been trying to eat more fruit for snack time. I have also tried new things like carrots in light Italian dressing, which is clearly a whole lot less calories and you can eat so much more!
Favorite activity?
Spending time with my kids. I have so much more energy now. I can’t wait until it warms up so we can get out and have fun! (Danelle and I live in the same state and we are having a BITTERLY COLD winter!) This last summer I spent a lot of time playing at the park with the kids and actually going down the slides with them. Nothing like acting like a kid, right?
How do you maintain your weightloss?
I weigh myself all the time. If I am up, I know I need to eat better the next day!
Any goals for the future?
Drink more water and exercise more often. Right now, the only exercise I am getting is the running around I do for my paper route. I also want to get out and have more fun!! I feel so much younger than I did last year at this time.
What is your favorite thing about your “new” body?
Everything. My waist dropped 12 inches in the first two to three months. That was insane for me. I am happy with the whole package. I love the comments and the looks I get from others who have not seen me in a while. I have run into two ladies here now that have not even recognized me. It is an amazing feeling.
Anything else you would like to share with the Shrinking Jeans readers?
The first thing I decided was that if I was going to do this, I was going to succeed and do it right. For me, I am a very determined and competitive person, so in January of last year I posted on Myspace, as well as sent an email out to family and friends and told them I was going to lose weight. I knew then that I was accountable to a lot of people. I wore a size 22 when I started and now I am wearing a size 10/12 jean, and a 7/8 top and skirt. It is just amazing and I actually enjoy shopping now. Shopping for clothing was so depressing for me before. I would not try anything on, I would just return what did not fit. Now I like to try on clothes just for fun and then leave without buying anything. It has just been so much fun seeing my shrinking body. I used to wear baggy t-shirts and jeans, even in school. Now I like the cute, tighter-fitting clothes that have style!
My self-esteem and energy level went through the roof when I started losing weight. Every pound I lose, I feel so much better. It was great when I hit 160 and Calorie Count said I was at a healthy weight. How awesome of a feeling that was!
Thank you so much for sharing your weight-loss story with all of us here at Shrinking Jeans, Danelle! I am so, so proud of you and all that you have accomplished!