i will never be 206 lbs again – The Shrinking Jeans of April


August 20, 2009 By april

Okay, so I re-posted “Scars” so maybe you could see that there’s no way our bodies are every going to be perfect.  I’ll bet each and every one of the skinniest, beautiful celebrities have at least one dimple on their ass or cellulite SOMEWHERE on their bodies.

But that’s not where I’m going with this.  Sorry.  It sort of relates though.  (I think.)

Where I am going with this is surely something I’ve mentioned over there at my other blog.

I hear a lot of people who lose a lot of weight say, “I want to forget THAT person ever existed.”  They’re talking about the person they were.  The overweight person who was sad and miserable.  Jillian was the first that I heard mention that maybe we shouldn’t forget that person.

I thought about it. I would be nice to just forget she ever existed.  But then I realize I can’t forget she existed.   I don’t want to forget her.  I want to remember the person I was.  206 pounds and in denial.  I was miserable.  I was unhappy.  I felt like a failure at life.

See, I want to hold on to her and keep her in the back of my head so that I never forget the way I felt at 206 pounds.  I want a little part of me to remember how ugly I felt so that I’ll never go back to being 206 pounds.  That is becoming my motivation to stay thin.

Now, you’re saying, but you shouldn’t hold onto the past, right?  Right.  I’m not holding onto life as it was.  I’m holding on to her.  She’s in the back of my mind and I tell her every single day how worth it she is and how great she feels that she is now me.  She is now healthy.  She is now living life the way she was meant to live it.  And she loves it.

So, I beg of you.  If there is a part of you that you just want to throw away and forget about, don’t.  Work on getting healthy, lose the weight that you want to lose, but hold onto the person you were just a tiny bit and let that be motivation to keep healthy and keep the weight off.

Trust me, that person that you’re holding onto way back in the back of your head?  He or she will thank you someday.  I promise.