Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words DO hurt me.
I just might punch my MIL in the face if she makes any kind of “weight” comment to me again.
Let me set the stage.
I love my MIL. She loves me.
She calls me the daughter she never had (she only has sons).
She goes above and beyond the call of MIL duty for our family and helps me out tremendously.
She is loving and kind and generous and warm and friendly.
She truly wants what is best for me, along with her children and grandchildren.
We get along very well. I couldn’t ask for a better MIL.
She is very concerned in general about health, and specifically the health of those she loves and what she “perceives” as not being healthy.
However, the way she delivers her “concern” is wrong, wrong, wrong. She is quite opinionated about how things should be done and she will let you know exactly what she thinks at any given time. She has verbal diarrhea of the mouth that gets her in trouble with me every once in a while.
Like, that one time last week, when we were meeting up with her to run an errand together and the first words out of her mouth, BEFORE she even said “hi” was: That shirt makes you look pregnant.
Oh no she didn’t, but oh yes she did.
My carefully controlled response: Thanks. That’s the look I was going for.
Or for instance, today, when she once again, for the one million-ith time gave me “advice”, telling me that I needed to work my stomach muscles and “suck it in” more.
On no she didn’t, but oh yes she did.
My response: I am well aware of what I look like and I do not need you to remind me about it. I only need your support right now. She backed off then.
Don’t put so much salt on your food, Lisa. Take smaller portions, Lisa. Have you gained weight, Lisa?
Oh no she didn’t, but oh yes she did.
On the flip side, she is very complimentary once the weight starts coming off. But Good Gawd, can she cut me an effing break for once?
I know in the deepest of my heart that she loves me, we have talked about our love for each other many times, BUT her words still sting. I KNOW she is not saying these things to intentionally hurt me. She is very matter-of-fact and it’s not a personal attack, at least in her mind. As much as I try NOT to take it personally, it is hard to blow it off.
I have talked to my husband- he knows his mom. His advice is that I just need to sit down with her and TELL HER that she is hurting my feelings with these offhand remarks. She will back off and she will apologize, I know this. We have had these “talks” before about other issues and have always worked them out. We’ll work this one out too.
Or I just might punch her in the face (kidding, just kidding).