Lisa » Blog Archive » Self Sabotage


No loss this week.  In fact, a gain. Un-freakin’-believable.

Weight last week:  170.6 lbs

This week:  171.4 lbs

GAIN of 0.8 lbs

You see, I have been doing so well over the last week.  Exercising.  Making careful food choices.  Limiting the nighttime snacking.  Drinking TONS of water.  I am a chronic weigher, meaning I weigh myself every single day I just can’t seem to shake that bad habit.  So, for the last 4 days, my scale has been giving me great news, as in I was well below the 170 mark (like 168.4 lbs happy).  I was so happy. 

The important word is “WAS”.

Because yesterday, when I continued to see that “well below 170 number”, I took it easy translation: I went freakin’ nuts and ate things I would normally not eat and in quantities I normally don’t eat.  Self restraint was non-existent yesterday.  Pasta who eats past the day before weigh-in…oh wait, I DO.  Chocolate chip cookie and a half, movie theater popcorn.

What the hell is wrong with me?  I had ZERO self control yesterday.  The worst was the movie popcorn though, laden with salt, eaten at night, right before bed.  I knew, I KNEW, that the salt would just sit in my body overnight, bloating me, tipping the scales the wrong way this morning.  Yet, I did not stop.

So this morning, when I stepped on the scale, I was NOT surprised by the results.  Even though I know that it is salt-bloat (because yes, I really did do well the other 6 days of the week), I am still mad at myself for sabotaging what should have been a GREAT weigh-in.  I was alternating from being mad at me and being even madder at me.

But then I read this post by our very own Brooke.  It resonated with me.  Cuz any of you that have read me for a while know that I trained for the San Diego 1/2 Marathon with Team Shrinking Jeans, injured my hip 5 weeks out from race day, and then spiraled down to a horrible, terrible mental mess trying to deal with the fact that I would not be running that race as I had intended.  I was stressed to the max, wondering if I would even be able to walk the darn thing.

My hair fell out, enough to give me a bald spot front and center of my hairline.

I gained 8 lbs overnight. 

I couldn’t sleep more than 5-6 hrs a night.  

It sucked.  Extreme stress sucks. ALL because my mind could not accept what my body had to give me at that moment in time. 

With some rest, a step back, and a new attitude, things have turned around for me.  My hair is growing back, I have lost 6 of those 8 lbs, I am sleeping 7-8 hrs a night (and making sleep a priority) and I am back on the trail running again.  My attitude about my running and race days have changed.  I have changed. 

So while this gain royally annoys me so much, it is OK.  It is but a blip in my road map and will be quickly forgotten next week when I knock the weight loss out of the park.  I don’t have to be the person who loses weight the fastest (I’m not), I just have to keep on track, or get back on track when I veer off course and put down the damn popcorn.

It is my overall goal that is most important- to be healthy, to enjoy life, to run around with my kids without getting out of breathe, to be proud of my accomplishments… matter how long it takes me.