The Monthly Project: Loving Yourself and How Other People See It – The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans LLC


A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on my blog about standing up for myself. It was a post about “girl power” and allowing yourself to deserve something and it was a little outside my comfort zone to post something like that because honestly, it is something I am trying hard to do but it’s not always the reality because I spend my life putting everyone and everything else first.

That was the day I got my first mean comment.

I was devastated.

Someone called me selfish and my blog self-centered. I was devastated because first of all, in more than 5 years of blogging, I’ve never ever had a mean comment and being a person who cannot handle confrontation very well and whose first instinct is to cower in the corner, it was quite a blow, especially at 7 in the morning before coffee.

However, I knew that my post didn’t come from a selfish place, in fact I thought it came from the opposite of a selfish place and my point was that we need to work on ourselves to believe that we are deserving of things like taking the last piece of pie at a dessert table every once in a while. (I’ll guarantee you that most of you reading this would never take the last piece of anything. Right?)

This post is not about my post but rather about the fact that the harder we try to love ourselves outwardly and openly, the funnier it sometimes looks to other people and how it can make other people a little uncomfortable.

Loving ourselves can be seen as selfish, as self-righteous and sometimes the act of loving ourselves angers other people, because they simply wish they could love themselves.

The thing is, we are already our own obstacles to loving ourselves. It’s hard enough to get things done being stuck in our own heads and our own feelings all the time that when someone else comes along and tries to stomp on your efforts to love yourself, well that’s just completely deflating.

It’s already enough to have ourselves to beat up on ourselves, but must it be too that we have to hear others beating up on ourselves too?

Why is it so threatening and selfish to say this out loud?

What I wish for the world is that we could all openly express our love for ourselves and celebrate the fact that it probably too freaking long to get to that place but yet, HERE WE ARE! And if you are not there yet, then you embrace the fact that someone else might be and then you work toward getting there yourself! It’s like cheering someone on through a 5k! You don’t stand back and say, “Man, you crossed the finish line, you suck!”

No! You say, “Great job! I hope to run a 5k too one day!”


We should be cheering each other on!

I don’t want to spend my short blip of time on this earth hating and loathing myself.

This life is a gift and before I know it, it will be over. I simply want happy memories. I simply want to love myself enough to enjoy my life with other people. The reasons *why* are really very simple.

My first instinct after getting that comment was to shut up and stop talking about my journey toward loving myself. It brought me two steps back from the progress I had made because now I felt ashamed for saying that I was proud to be me and that I deserved everything that other people deserve. Ashamed.

Today, I want you to learn from my lesson.

Don’t say “I love me” bashfully. Don’t say it out loud but only so that your ears are the only ones that hear it. Say it to everyone! And don’t let another person’s comment about how you shouldn’t and how doing so is SELFISH affect whether or not you love yourself and say it out loud. Because they probably just wish they could say it out loud and mean it.

We are already our own obstacle. We don’t need someone else to be.

If you haven’t taken the pledge, DO IT TODAY!

And encourage others to love themselves, too.

Tell someone they’re pretty. Tell someone they’ve inspired you. Make up a blog award and dole it out all over the damn place. This week, make it your mission to make someone smile, make someone feel good and make them feel like their life is worthwhile.

Lift someone up this week because every time we do, we make it easier for people to see themselves because they see themselves through you.

Grab a button and take the pledge! Blog about it, leave your link in the comments! We’re hitting the half-way mark on this project, how are you doing?

Do you find other people as obstacles to loving yourself? Is there anyone who’s made you feel ashamed for saying it? Have a wonderful week! Other sisters who have taken the pledge can be found in the post from week one and week two. So you’re not alone in this project, I promise.

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